Nighttime Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme

TV's prominent entertainers devoted the airtime ridiculing President Donald Trump's newly announced visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant pay-for-access arrangement for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Analysis

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock holiday song about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... ruins everything he handles."

The subject was the controversial initiative which permits foreign nationals to buy U.S. residence for an investment of one million dollars, or "premium" tier for $5 million. An official portal promises processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick note for you to rich immigrants: prior to you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the card is also meant to "extract cash" from companies looking to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals truly are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let rich overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval numbers during economic worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to address prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of food items, where he behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.